Bad News About My Vocation

Bad News About My Vocation
By Ron Koertge

I remember how the upper crust in my hometown
pronounced it- Care-a-mel. Which is correct, I guess,
but to everyone else it was carmel.

Which led to the misconception about the order of
Carmelites.

I imagined they served God by heating sugar
to about 170 C, then adding milk and butter
and vanilla essence while they
listened to the radio.

I thought I could do that. I could wear the white
shirt and pants. I knew I couldn't be good
but I might be a good candy maker.

So imagine my chagrin when I learned about
the vows of poverty and toil enjoined
by these particular friars.

I also crossed off my list the Marshmallowites
and the Applepieites, two other orders
I was thinking of joining.